No-strings-attached relationships -- something most people have only seen in movies (hey Ashton and Natalie!). Few have had the opportunity to experience one for themselves, or if they have, it usually never lasts as long as they'd hoped.
All that can be changed, however, if you follow this fool-proof formula for maintaining your NSA relationships. There are certain rules one must follow if they want to ensure that their NSA relationships stay drama-free, feelings-free, and stress-free.
If you want to get and keep an NSA relationship, here are five key rules you should follow.
That'd be a friends-with-benefits relationship, which is actually different from an NSA relationship.
Typically, NSA relationships are between two people who don't have much history together, if any. It should be with someone you don't have any personal feelings for, even platonically, and ideally, someone you barely know.
The reason for this is because unlike friends-with-benefits relationships, NSA relationships do not have any ties at all to the person you're seeing. Many people fail in their FWB relationships because when you start hooking up with a friend or someone you already know, it's easier to become emotionally involved.
It also makes following all the other rules easier if you're entering an NSA relationship with someone you don't know very well. You'll probably only like them for their looks and for the sex, which is really all you need for an NSA relationship.
The only reason it has the term "relationship" attached to it is because you'll both become regular sexual partners.
It's all about the physical pleasure, and with friends, you'll be more likely to give them more than that, such as emotional support. In this type of relationship, there's no need to worry about that -- all you need from each other is sex and a good time.
Have no other expectations.
The second most important rule is to keep your distance from your NSA partner. You don't want to start getting to know them or hanging out with them a lot, because, in addition to having sex, that can only result in developing feelings.
Plus, spending time apart serves as a reminder that your relationship is strictly casual, and it gives you time to meet others.
Remember that you both have your freedom and can see and have sex with other people, just make sure you're safe.
When you contact each other, it should only be to arrange plans for the next time you see each other, and by see, I mean have sex. Also, you never want to stay over at each other's place.
That's only acceptable in special cases, where you absolutely have to, like if you come over really late at night and you're drunk, or vice versa.
Otherwise, you shouldn't ever expect to stay over or even try to.
If you get too used to seeing them and staying over to cuddle after sex, that can only mean something's going to go wrong in that "no-strings-attached" relationship since those behaviors are not supposed to be present.
Don't go on dates, don't hang out as friends, and don't stay over and cuddle.
You definitely don't want to start getting personal with your NSA partner. The last thing you want is to know every little detail about their life, and they know yours. When either of you starts feeling down and like no one understands you, who will you go to?
Each other -- and that sounds a lot like a relationship.
Keeping your personal life separate from your NSA relationship is key -- once you blend the two, and they know more about you than even your friends do, things get complicated. Whether you want to or not, you'll most likely start to develop real feelings for this person because you'll feel like you can talk to them about anything, you trust them, and you obviously are attracted to them.
It's hard not to fall for someone when you have all those things present.
But the goal here is not to get too deep with each other; you can tell them surface points about yourself and make small talk about things you do throughout the day, but it shouldn't get more intimate than that.
Set your boundaries and keep them away from your personal life if you want to keep your NSA relationship.
One of the more important points people rarely make about successful NSA relationships is that you both have to be mature enough, and emotionally ready, to embark on this kind of relationship.
An NSA relationship will never work if one or both people are jealous, immature, needy, clingy, or not in the right headspace for one.
You have to have the level of maturity to understand that they don't need to be your only partner and that you don't have to be theirs either.
There's no room for jealousy in this kind of relationship because neither of you "belong" to the other, or have made any commitments to each other.
You also can't smother them with attention or expect them to do that for you. If you're asking for more than you agreed upon, a no-strings-attached, sex-only relationship, and start asking for emotional support, their time, etc., it won't work out.
They may get overwhelmed by you and realize you're not holding up your end of the deal by asking for more than what the relationship is.
So, take the time and assess yourself to see if you really can handle this kind of relationship before you drag somebody who is ready into your mess.
Last but not least, the most important rule for keeping all the other rules in order is always to have a backup plan.
You don't want to make your NSA partner your primary relationship. It's important always to have someone else you could hit up if you feel like you've been seeing too much of them, or if all goes wrong, to fall back on and potentially have a new NSA partner.
Your best bet in never getting serious with one person is to keep a rotation of a few people that you like and enjoy having sex with. It'll come in handy if you're ever at odds with your NSA partner, they're away, they're sick, or whatever else may come up.
Plus, if your attention is divided, you'll never have to worry about falling for them.
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